Sucking the life out of me

I know! So adorable lah please. =D Well hello everyone. Sorry for the lack of updates! I don't know how people do it, but wow to those who've gone through JC. Respect, man. Respect. *peace + pouty lips rappers style*

JC life is so fucking draining, it's unbelievable. It is not easy. I kind of underestimated Kakak Idayu's comments. If not for my psycho friends, I think I'd be merrily skipping school, LIKE A CERTAIN WEAK SOMEONE WHO DECLARES A HOLIDAY ONCE A FORTHNIGHT. I'm quite proud of myself actually. For not having missed a single day of school! (yet) I'm still pressing on, (hahah, Mr Tay's essay test remarks for BOTH tests which I just managed to scrape through!)

What I fear, is that when I break, I break completely, fall impossibly ill, lag far far behind, and then there goes my footing in this breaknecking pace for the Strong and Determined. That's not to say I've found my footing, even. Passing History and GP alons doesn't make me a Champion Student, people. I don't think I've either, strength and determination or enough of each, to make it, in all honesty. But I have to. Sigh.

I find myself so incredibly exhausted. (what's new) JC life brings exhaustion to a whole new level. I've not even watched the latest episodes of OTH and Heroes! Ugh, this is annoying. TV is a "wh- whaaat? What's that?" affair for me right now. I TRY to stay away from the computer cos I'll end up playing around instead of doing what I'm supposed to do.

AND THEN. When I DO stay away for a SINGLE DAY (which rhymes, just like chimes), I lag behind in all things Pre U Sem, and then suddenly I've got 12 emails and none's from Friendster! So you see! When I try to be good, I miss out! ):

You know, I really am thankful for the friends I have in JC. When the load gets insane and it's all getting to your very core, they do something SO AMAZINGLY STUPID, you can't help but laugh. Till your pee's begging to be freed, even!

And really, everything does come full circle. Like you know those games you play in primary school? Yeah. We're playing most of them now. =D And trying not to get into trouble for doing so.

Random pictures with rocking schoolmates:

After the Arts Fest closing ceremony. Whoa, I was hell impressed by the Dance performance. Gold with honours, well deserved, I say. (:

Tabby is so glam, me tells you

sucks that my face is blocked :/ it WOULD have been a cute pic then =D oh and check out Clauds and Nana in the background!

The cute banana(:

if only we pay this much attention during lectures, yeah?

This was after playing (fillintheblanks, it's too embarrassing!) and before CT/EP

Sneaky people. They used my phone. -.-"

Managed to meet up with Mudd and Najib on Thurdsay for a movie date! (plus random Timothy, hahah) Spiderman 3's overrated. To me at least. The crowd's reaction is hell funny. Seriously. And because we dont quite camwhore as much as classmates/BFFAE, there's no picture of them for you! I know you're disappointed, but "press on"! HAHAH.

In other news, I think I've got a very strong best friend. I'm proud of you, sweetie. *tight hug (:

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I can't believe I'm still online when my bag's empty (clothes are still wet, mind you) and I've got a ton of things to do. SIGH. But hey, this week's gna be incredibly kick ass. =D

I saw her, came up to her and squeezed her hand. Nothing had to be said.

Seeing her stand there unable to even support herself, made me feel helpless once more. Just like last night. Just like last night. Seeing her struggle to even drag her feet broke my heart. I was thankful to be behind her, where I couldn't see her expression.

The four fighting it all, together. Making through the long walk, together.

And then seeing the lady, usually very well put together and full of grace, not wanting to let go.

When we hugged, I was just really glad I could offer her something, in the midst of everything.

I don't quite know how to say this, and it'll never be enough, but I'm so so sorry beyond words. I'll always be here okay. Always. I love you and it WILL be alright. I'll be there for you. I will.

I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip

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For some odd reason, it's all hollow tonight.

First things first. We are in. (:

Sushi's always good, people. But damn, I dont like the Heartland one. THERE'S NO COMPUTER! Hahah and shit, today=too many shit embarrassing moments. It's enough to last me a whole week, probably. But then again, sigh. You know, I've grown far more unglam since I stepped into JC. Weirdness, I tell you.

To be really plain, can I just say that I've had quite a couple of downdownwaydown moments the past few days. It's like, crap, I should just learn to LET. IT. GO. and move on with my life and not question myself cos fucking hell, I think I'm doing pretty great, thank you.

I can't help it.

I really really can't help it if I'm suddenly looking so much deeper into all things not worthy of my looking so much deeper into. I suddenly spot myself doubting so many things, and truths and what not. It's highly exhausting. And what more, I hate it when I'm wrong.

Let's get happy and excited now. Saturday's coming in two days time and ohmygosh. My stomach feels like Shrek just punched it and I think if I had balls, it'd be all shrunk up to the size of my fist zoom out X10 cos WAH. Am so nervous suddenly!

Also, sometimes I think you need to stop being an idiot, ok that's being way too nice mind you, and honestly! GET DOWN FROM YOUR FUCKING "I'M-SO-MUCH-BETTER-THAN-YOU" LADDER.

2.4 OVER AND OUT

Ok, anyone who's anyone (hahah, my ass lah huh) will know that I suck so bad at jogging/running/2.4 it's not even funny. I redid mine just now cos I failed last Wednesday by 8 seconds cos I suck and am not atheletic like that. AND! Marian abandoned me for Shirlene. Sad sad. ): It's okay, I still love you PE partner! And THIEF who stole my PE partner! Lol.

Anyway, crux of the matter:

I PASSED 2.4 AND OH MY HEAVEN, I GOT A SILVER. A SILVER.

This would never have happened without lovely lovely Miss Rivera! NEVER have I gotten such good results for 5 items before ok. NEVER. Especially my standing broadjump! (Btw, pull-up power has terribly decreased since I'm not a member of CEDAR NPCC UNIT anymore. Sad right.) And of course! Much much much credit and love goes out to the girls in my class! They were so sweet please. Cheering me on and everything. Thank you thank you! You all so cute la. So cheesy hor. But true. (:


Also, awwh, more gratitude! I am so very grateful to my classmates. They pasted my HUGE NEON COLOURED sticker on their shirts! And the others too (non-classmates!) who pasted it on their files, etc. (: My very own walking advertisements, yay. Was immensely touched by their support. Crazy Patson pasted like 3 on himself lah. And Leo has a "I'm a tortise. Kick me." written on MY star! See, the things I let you do.

Campaign Manager Tabitha Woodworth proved her Worth! But damn, the Wood's still hollow. GET IT!? I is too witty.

So. Tomorrow is THE DAY. I hope my tongue doesn't get all tangled and trip over itself. I really really hope not.

Council is growing on me. And can I just add that, I suddenly feel so experienced (okay maybe not SOOOOO, just pretty experienced) and I really am thankful for being in Cedar's NPCC Unit for those 4 years of my life. Was just talking to Fing online about it. (:

Fiona TING, my lovely squadmate (Yes SQUADMATE, not ex-squadmate, you TWIT) has finally decided to send me pictures. From ten donkey years ago man. And this, everyone, is one of the Pink Panther New Year (ushering of '06) Sleepover at Sophia's. :D



If you were wondering, yes, I was blacker than black then. Blame my CCA for my complexion's natural instinctive anti-white stand man. And behind that door.. *cue dramatic symphony* was where the sinners sinned.. HAHA. DERMOT MULRONEY'S FINE ASS!

Alright, alright. Better go off now. Wish me luck for tomorrow kay? I know you feel obliged to. :P

GOT GUTS CAMPAIGN

Portrait of an ENFP - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
(Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling)

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The Inspirer

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values.

An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.
ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

Jungian functional preference ordering for ENFP:


Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling
Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking
Inferior: Introverted Sensing


Everything bold: Reasons why you should vote Nominee #1. :D The question is. Have YOU the guts to?

Zoo madness, family goodness.

After zoo-ing, we headed to town for dinner at Fish&Co, bitchy lovely Lionel joined us. (: Guess who was working there that night? Renny! Hahah. Also saw a bunch of Cedarians. Too bad they're Cedarians I dont know/am not close to.

You know who I wantwantwant to see so so bad? Siti & gang, Dirah and NAJIB!

Brother and I were at the pet shop the other day, and OMG. Did you know rabbits cost 288 bucks? Oh my tian (Suyin/Diana's fault), I didn't either. I got a real shock. I had 2 last time! Should have kept and get them to breed. Dayyyymmnnn.

It is a nice feeling, being home for the weekend. A good change. (: Grandparents are over. (: It's sad to see how my grandfather's doing though. I mean. I don't know. I'm not used to the Atuk that's wheelchair bound, weak, and at times, doesn't even know what he's talking about.

I've had the strongest grandfather, working his pretty huge farm in Malaysia all by himself. I'll always see him tending to his farm whenever I'm over at Kota Tinggi. He was the one that brought me to the chicken coop (multiple leveled chicken coop!) and showed me how to feed those chickens, and showed me first hand that we can actually eat the egg raw just like that, fresh from the hen! The one that told me about the snakes that'd eat them in the dead of the night and how he has to put the "racun", poison, to ward them off.

He was the one that showed us (my cousins and I) those huge ant nests behind the house. He was the one that knows a lot of hings about the world. I remember how he'd tell me of the news and stuff, a long long long time ago. The grandfather with that crinkly, warm smile.

I try to make him happy during his stay here. Get him the noodles hot, buy that eye mo, get the Berita Harian, clear the space so he can move around, stuff like that. I think it's the hardest for my grandmother. You can just see it. But the love. Wow, the love. It transcends everything. In sickness and in health. It's heartwarming, really.

My grandmother is cool. When she realised I had a couple of piercings in my ears, instead of nagging or disapproving like I thought she would, she was really amused by it! Asking whether it hurt and stuff. Hahah. And my grandmother is the one that loves everything sweet (she puts sugar in her glass of fresh milk!) and the one that doesn't have diabetes!

I kind of like it when my grandparents are over. The house will be kept clean by yours truly cos I can take it if the house is a mess, but I cannot stand it if the house is a mess AND there are visitors. Hahah. Weird right. But seriously. The house is tiptop whenever someone's bound to be over. Even if it's just a tutor.

I guess at the end of the day, it is family afterall. (:

TGIF!

I've lots to blog and tons of pictures to post up. I feel burdened suddenly! Lol. It's official, 1A01=TOTAL CAMERA SLUTS. We took over a hundred pics at the zoo, and EVERYWHERE we go, it's snap! snap! snap! goes Leo's phone. (See, his phone has multishot) Every single place. (School - during breaks, lessons, before, after, Yoshinoya, Thai Express, Pizza Hut, Seoul Garden, airport, etc) Hahah. Last Thursday's lunch was fun. Finally Tabby got to join us! Pics another time lah.

Accidentally, because Mud decided to ditch me (yes, I forgive you), I got to meet Lock&Chan! Random, impromptu meetups are IT. Fairuz was supposed to come meet us, but nooooo. Of course she didnt! :/ Hahah.

Met Diana at the MRT station and wow, what a lovely welcome I received.

"Omg, Huda. What happened to you!? Your complexion! Your skin looks all sallow and YOUR EYEBAGS!! Wah they are damn terrible!"

Thanks ah. Guess Megacow's still a cow. (: Clara came soon after and hahah. She needs grooming! I felt this sense of I dont know what. But it was warm and fuzzy. I like.

Headed for Borders first cos Mother kindly gave me money to go buy myself an organizer of some sort.

"I think, you should start organizing your life, Huda. Your room's a mess, so's your closet. It shows your personality, you know. What kind of person you are. Here's some money for you to go get yourself an organizer. Start sorting out your life okay."

Of course okay! Hello, $$$ KACHING! Hahah, I managed to budget myself so I got more change! Was quite surprised she even knows I'm organizer/sch diary-less. (SR=miser, unfortunately and I never got around to getting one elsewhere)

I had a rather tough time just chossing a friggin book. I wish I were ('were' cos it's NEVER happening) decisive sometimes. It's like. I'm indecisive and yet I can get hasty and impulsive! Go figure.

The three of us ended up getting new pencil boxes too! They were too cute so we gave in. I know! So lousy right.


I'm the coolest; mine's the centre one. And just so you were thinking, yes, it is pretty squeeze-ish. But whatever. I'll just chuck the rest of my stationery in my bag.

The three of us had dinner at Lucky Plaza. Initial plan was Ayam Penyet, but whatever. It was closed, and I dont even think we got the right place in the first place! Memory's failing me.

Food kinda sucked but company didn't! At all, so yes. Screw food. We ended up sitting at the steps of Heeren; some ulufied spot. And like you couldn't guess, because we are camwhores, we camwhore. :D

We talked about stuff. Hahah. Mainly catching up, and comparing what our school's are like, the people, culture, and of course, times in Cedar. We'll never run out of things to talk about man. That's just how it's like with 3 talkative people. (:

It was really good meeting them girls. Overwhelmed with nostalgia. Should do this more often, it's real healthy to crawl back to that comfort zone, one you've been in for 4 whole years, every now and then.

Champion shot of the day?



As classic as classic goes, baby. (:

Diana, PS: Don't think I don't know you didn't send us A LOT of the pictures ok! Just because you THINK you don't look good, doesn't mean you don't send lah walau. I know cows are lazy, but still!

Preview only okay!


So, 1A1 decided to waste away our Labour Day. Well, 7 of us at least. Plus Lionel later at night. (=

Since I don't have time on my side, cos I've to study for Econs (which really does own History, any time) and I cannot NOT blog, cos heck, yesterday was tons of good good fun, you will have to be satisfied with a couple of pics. Will do a slide later this week.

Nice ass, kitty.

If you don't already know, you're a loser who doesn't check my Friendster account or you're not hip enough. Hahah, joke people. That's a joke.

Yes, we went to the zoo!!! Too funky right. And because of SOME PEOPLE, we had to walk the whole 5 hours+ we were there. Freaking Tram(p). (; Will leave you with a lovely picture which got me so so intrigued I practically pressed my nose to the glass.

The whole time with my hair standing, of course.